Babe, who was that?

About last night...

      Sinking feeling of being alone, throat is clogged , choking back tears that threatens to pour, hands shaking, heart pounding. How can guys be so clueless!! Or is it me, am I not getting it? Don't I understand?, I do but it makes no sense to me, there's no excuse. Right now I just want to be left alone, but I know there's no chance of that, they would want to know why! And I can't talk without bursting out in tears, so I'm just playing it cool, acting indifferent, like I do not actually care, the truth is that my heart is breaking into a million pieces, I am angry, lord knows I am angry, at him, at me, at her! He's so stupid, stupid!

4 hours earlier...
       I am so excited, I can't wait, it's all planned, I am going to have the best day ever. I receive the call, it's my partner, he says dressed and be on your way, okay, I am already dressed, so I leave my flat and I start the journey to the other side of town to visit him we are going to on a picnic date!
      Outside the sun is so warm and bright, it's the hazy season and it gets cold, but today, even God made it perfect, it was beautiful everywhere, places I had seen every day seemed different, It was like I had not noticed the ethereal essence of it all, at this point I let go of all the mundane issues plaguing me, all I know is, I am going to have a great day.
    You know how you get when you're looking forward to something so bad , nothing can spoil the day... or so you think. I arrive at his place, we load up the car with everything we would need, we are on our way to the park, we stop at the gas station to fill up the car and we are on our way, usually I would make a stop to pee, just to annoy him, but this time, I can't wait to get there. The car is silent, both of US with our own thoughts, it's not really a comfortable silence, (you see, my partner is a real quiet person, I am the opposite, I hate it but I get it) me with my thoughts of the coming events, him with God knows what! And the silence breaks, his phone is ringing, he ignores it, it rings again, he picks it and says, "hi, please I'm driving let me call you back", immediately my antennas are up but I ignore it, nothing Will spoil my day, I didn't ask, the silence was now even more uncomfortable. We finally get to the spot he chose for the picnic, as we lay out blanket and spread the foods, the phone goes off again, he looks at me, I think he sees something in my eyes, my anger, and he picks up, he is talking but he is guarded, like he doesn't want me to hear his end, after 2 or 3 minutes, he says, "okay, thanks for calling, bye", You know that moment, you know you shouldn't say anything, just let things go, ignore, but you know you just have to know, so I go, "babe, who was that?", he gets defensive, "my friend, I don't know why you always ask me about my calls, I don't do that to you...", he just goes on and on and I am just staring at him like, what's with the attitude? Doesn't he know that this defensiveness gives him away, it shows that he's hiding something!. I am alarmed and worried, don't get me wrong, I love my partner and I trust him, but things like this just shakes that faith. We argued for another 30 minutes, and I cried, and then got even more angry, and we brought up things that had happened in the past, something he keeps doing that irritates me to no end, after the arguments he pulled me close, apologized and said he loves me and would never cheat, I smile and say okay.
      But it's not okay, it's clear it is not okay, it's clear that I am not happy and I will not forget the episode or the girl who kept calling like she had a right... I do not know how to phrase it, but you get my point.
      And just like that, my mood dissipated, like air let out of a balloon, my day was finally ruined, I tried to be happy and forget it, but I am not that kind of person, and he was so clueless, maybe he chose to ignore or really didn't get that I was still mad, he was still talking and acting like we were in a love picnic, after a while watching him and hating him, I suggested we leave as I wasn't feeling it, he said, ''baby stop, why?, is it because of that thing that happened since?, I thought we settled it, why can't you let things go, now you have spoilt the whole mood, fine! if you want to go let's go, God knows I did all this to make you happy, and if you're not happy, there's no point"  and just like that, it became my fault, I was the one overreacting, unforgiving, the grinch, the kill joy!? ! I didn't care anymore, I jut wanted to leave, and I told him as much, he just huffed and started to pack and throw things in the back of the car, I stood silently, then got in the car, now he was mad at me. We drove home in an awkward and excruciating silence, I had so much anger to express, so many things to say, but I said them all in my mind, things like, "ungrateful asshole, cheating bastard, lying fool, you think you can fool me, I hate you, I wish you'd die now" and so many other lesser than nice things.
    Roughly five hours later...

     Oh well, that was hours ago, I'm lying down now in his sister room (we drove back to his fathers house, I would spend the night), and i am so angry that i want to cry, his family thinks we had such a good time that we would retire early, I don't want to talk about it. Some minutes later, he comes in, holds me and really is sorry, he doesn't want anything to come between US, he's not cheating, she's just a girl, she knows he's with me bla bla, I say I understand. I do understand, he enjoys the attention he gets from girls who do not care about the real him, who doesn't know half of what he is, its normal for insecure guys.
I still don't think I was off track in my attitude, what do you think, guys?

Guys I would really appreciate comments and likes and feedback, here or in my e-mail, I will always reply, thanks for taking your time to read. I love you.